Are You Keeping The Narcissist’s New Relationship Alive?

Remove yourself from the equation.

Sophia Bell On Medium


A lot of people come to me when still in a semi relationship with the narcissist.

By semi I mean, they found out about the narcissist’s cheating but decided to forgive the narcissist.

The narcissist then proceeds to blatantly continue the affair and go back and forth between the old and the new partner.

Of course, promising change and better days ahead, everytime they return to the old partner.

And the old partner, not wanting to leave the narcissist, accepts the narcissist back, everytime.

That’s a semi relationship.

Now, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this question asked to me, by the old partner:

“Why does the narcissist seem so happy with the new partner, going out of their way to please them, while neglecting me completely?”

“Do you think the narcissist is happier being with them, than with me?”

“How can they, when I did all these things for them and sacrificed all I have, to make them happy?”

“And this new partner doesn’t even do half the things I do”… and so on.

The answer is yes.

Yes, the narcissist is way happier being with that new partner.

And here’s the main reason why:

It’s because the old partner is creating a contrast between them and the new partner.

A narcissistic relationship doesn’t do anyone well. It draines you out of your looks, joie de vivre and often money too.

So by the time the narcissist meets this willing new candidate, the partner is looking and feeling like a used dishrag.

The narcissist is only staying with them for certain benefits they offer, such as material gain or status.

While in this new relationship, the narcissist’s resentment towards the old partner grows.

How can it not?

When they come home to them they’re confronted with boredom and sadness.