The Narcissist Isn’t Withholding Love

They just don’t have it to give.

Sophia Bell On Medium
2 min readMay 18, 2024
Photo by Katerina Kerdi on Unsplash

Narcissists aren’t normal people who refuse to love you.

They’re abnormal people who are incapable of loving you.

What they showed you at the beginning wasn't love.

It only felt like it.

What you saw was the narcissist getting high of the validation and gratification they were getting from you.

Narcissists suffer from NPD.

The gist of that disorder is that they need others to regulate their self-esteem for them.

When they first meet you and you fall in love with them, they get a huge ego boost.

That ego boost is what they need in order to not sink into a depression.

Just getting someone to like them does that for them.

But someone who decides to devote their every waking minute to them, boosts their ego through the roof.

Which the narcissist, being unaware of their disorder, mistakes for being in love.

They decide that they found the one and make future plans with them, which they actually believe they'll follow through with.

Then the newness wears off, the narcissist needs a new ego boost because