The Narcissist Hid Their Narcissism

For years.

Sophia Bell On Medium
2 min readJun 2


I’m sure you heard it before, or maybe even experienced it.

That the narcissist was perfectly normal and kept their disorder hidden for years.

It wasn’t until the ending of the relationship that the partner found out that they were in a relationship with the narcissist.

Is that possible?


BUT. Yes there's a but.

The “perfectly normal” phase, was only perfectly normal because you were blind.

You were blind to the narcissist’s narcissism.

You didn't think much of them denying something that you knew for a fact happened.

You blamed yourself.

You thought “Well maybe I was wrong.”

You didn’t think much of the narcissist’s lack of responsibility.

You thought “Fine, I can handle it, they’re probably not used to it.”

You didn't think much of the narcissist saying one thing, but doing another.

You forgave them.

You thought “Maybe I didn’t explain it right, I don’t think they understand what I mean by integrity.”

And so things were perfectly normal.

You rationalized and excused the little tell tale signs.

Then when things got tough and you could no longer provide them with an alibi, a justification for their lack of care/ irresponsibility/ incongruences/ weird behavior, that’s when the narcissist let loose.

Because you saw it.

You saw their imperfection.

And the narcissist despises you for that.

Enter: Blatant Devaluation.

And the caterpillar turned into the butterfly.

Your flawed partner turned into a narcissist.