Silent Treatments

Start off as training.

Sophia Bell On Medium
2 min readJun 6


One of the most insidious forms of abuse, are silent treatments.

They slowly creep up on the relationship you think you’re having.

And end up with you accepting the narcissist doing whatever they’re doing, out of fear of the narcissist disappearing on you again.

The very first silent treatment will be the narcissist disappearing for a couple of hours.

That will be somewhere at the start of devaluation.

You’ll be used to knowing where the narcissist is at all times, so you'll not understand and ask them about their whereabouts.

The narcissist will then aggressively respond that you don't need to know what they're doing at all times of the day, usually followed up by calling you insecure, smothering, or something else they’ve never called you.

You’ll be taken aback by this and to not displease them any further, you'll let it go.

Slowly but surely, you not having the right to ask them any questions, will become the norm.

As well as the narcissist being mad at you.

Then they'll start combining these 3 things.

The narcissist being upset + The narcissist dissapearing + You not having the right to know where they are, or what they’re doing.

Those are the real silent treatments, the ones everyone is talking about.

You should know that when that point is reached, the narcissist is cheating on you.

They use that combination to go and do as they please, without you asking them any questions.

By now you're terrorized into believing that you did something to the narcissist and that's why they left.

You’ll also be terrorized into thinking that if you even so much as suggest that they were up to something, or have any questions, that the narcissist will leave you again and not give you any answers.

Which they won't either way, apart from the answer that you're responsible for the treatment you're being subjected to, but atleast they won't prolong or repeat the abandonment, if you keep your mouth shut.

To make a long story short,

The narcissist is silent treating you to have time to themselves, because they're either busy being single, or busy building a new relationship behind your back.

Silent treatments will, without exception, turn into the best tool they have to aid them in their cheating.