Narcissists Treat Everyone The Same

There’s not a partner that’ll be able to change them.

Sophia Bell On Medium
2 min readMar 15


I get this a lot.

What if the next partner is their perfect match?

What if they can change the narcissist?

And all that really is, is a fear of you actually being unworthy.

Because if the next one does receive good treatment, that would mean that it was you and not the narcissist.

Which is impossible.

Because if you were with a person that ticks all, or even most, of the narcissistic boxes, then you were with a narcissist.

Plain and simple.

And here’s why your fear of the next partner being able to tame the narcissist, is an irrational one.

Narcissists suffer from NPD.

It’s a disorder.

This disorder can be recognized in brain scans.

They're neurologically divergent.

The disorder is also incurable.

What does this disorder mean for a relationship?

That the narcissist is incapable of loving, or even caring for their partner.

That the narcissist completely disregards their partner, because they're only concerned with what they need.

That the narcissist needs a continuous flow of validation and instant gratification.

That the partner will inevitably fail at supplying the narcissist with what they need.

That the narcissist will resent their partner for that and start looking for people outside the relationship to supply them with validation and instant gratification.


Narcissists are wired to behave the way they do.

Their thought processing, decision making process, perspective, reality and ability to care for others, are all affected by that neurological abnormality.

The narcissist can't, all of a sudden, have a normal brain and start treating people differently.

Narcissists exhibit the same behavior, with every partner.

It’s a disorder, not a choice.