Narcissists Devalue Their Partners

By actions and words.

Sophia Bell On Medium
2 min readJun 7


Some people swear up and down that their narcissist never put them through devaluation.

Mainly because of the narcissist never using foul language.

It’s impossible not to go through devaluation with a narcissist, all narcissists devalue.

Devaluation is about the general feeling of worthlessness a narcissist evokes in you.

They can do that through words and actions.

Examples of actions:

  • Not answering their phone when they don’t want to.
  • Laughing/smirking when the partner is hurt.
  • Not walking next to the partner.
  • Flirting with others in front of the partner.
  • Repeating actions, while the partner repeatedly told them those actions are very hurtful to them.
  • Their perpetual hostile and dismissive demeanor.
  • Being nice to everyone, yet having an attitude towards the partner.
  • Sleeping with their back turned to the partner.
  • Demanding forms of privacy you shouldn’t have in a relationship.

Examples of words:

  • I don’t care what you think I did.
  • Stop calling me.
  • It’s not your business.
  • Noone would wanna be with a person like you.
  • Look at yourself.
  • You’re fucking crazy.
  • If you don’t like it you can leave.
  • I talk to others because I can’t talk to you.
  • I wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t (…).
  • I don’t have to explain myself to you.
  • I don’t have to listen to this.

The gist is this:

They will relay the message that you're not someone they have to consider, or respect, while always being respectful to others.

Narcissists won’t spare any words OR actions, to let you know that you mean nothing to them.

That’s the essence of devaluation.